Midnight Musings by Just Breathing

Rating: G
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 07/05/2005
Last Updated: 07/05/2005
Status: Completed

‘Hogwarts: A History’ couldn’t even take her mind off him, and she didn’t even wonder why.




1. Midnight Musings
-------------------

**Title:** Midnight Musings

**Genre:** Romance/None

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** ‘Hogwarts: A History’ couldn’t even take her mind off him, and she didn’t even
wonder why.

**Disclaimer:** OK! I admit it! I don’t own HP! As much as I would LOVE to I just don’t!!
*Sob* There! Are you happy?! *Sob*

**Words:** 2,952

**Chapter:** 1/1

**A/N:** I wrote this a while ago, but I’ve never got around to posting it until now. I hope
you like it! :D

**Warning:** I have a serious lack of Beta, so if you see any spelling mistakes I missed I
apologise now.

**X-X-X**

Hermione just could not concentrate on the book in her lap.

She didn’t understand it. ‘Hogwarts: A History’ couldn’t even take her mind off him as he sat
across from her scribbling away at his potions homework. She smiled as she watched him scratch his
head and close his eyes in an attempt to focus his mind on the parchment before him.

*‘Trust Harry’* she chuckled quietly as he began to write feverishly once again *‘Leaving
his homework until the last minute. Typical.’*

However much she might disapprove of his working habits, (*‘Starting homework after*
*midnight**? Honestly!’*) She wouldn’t change him for the world. He was her best friend
and nothing would ever change that.

They had been through too much together.

**x-x-x**

One memory stood out clearly in her mind. As vividly as if it took place yesterday-

Harry had just come back from defeating Voldemort and was lying, almost defeated himself, in the
hospital wing.

Just before he left to go and fight the Final Battle she had stumbled upon some deep hidden
feeling in the dark recesses of her mind. Something that she never thought that she would feel for
Harry, but there it was as clear as day.

All of the things that she had brushed underneath the carpet over the years. All of the
forgotten glances and skipped heart beats when he touched her. Everything she had ever felt beyond
friendship for him and had dismissed every single one as “silly teenage hormones” were taking over
her mind.

And she realised something- those feelings were still there and there was not a single chance
that those feelings could be anything to do with rioting hormones.

No, those feelings were more. Much more.

She couldn’t even describe how much they filled her with the deep longing to see him, to speak
to him, to touch him. How she longed to kiss him at that moment. She wanted to kiss all of his
fears away as he stared at her with an indescribable amount of dread in his eyes.

He had never concealed the fact that he was afraid to face Voldemort, they would often sit up
and talk all night about the approaching battle, and he would always whisper that he wasn’t afraid
to die- He was afraid to fail. He didn’t want to let the entire Wizarding world down. They were all
counting on *him* to “defeat the dark lord” and he was terrified of disappointing them all and
condemning them to a life of misery and pain.

She was bowled over by the sheer emotion of the feelings the first time he had shared his
anxiety with her. She literally cried for him as he opened his soul for her. She wanted to help
him. Heal him, but she knew that she could never do that. He didn’t think of her that way. Only a
witch that he loved like no other could heal his pain. All she could do was love him as a friend,
and secretly so much more.

Then he left.

The terrifying thought of never seeing him again entered her mind as he walked determinedly
towards the awaiting Portkey in the Hogwarts grounds. Just before the key took him away he looked
back at where she was standing and mouthed something to her that she couldn’t quiet make out with
the distance between them. She resolved to ask him what he said when he returned to her.

If he returned to her.

**x-x-x**

The first time she had chance to be on her own with him since he came back from the fighting she
sat next to him all night as he continued to sleep in a comatose state, crying to herself as he
refused to wake up.

She wished and begged that he would come round. She offered to take his place, she bargained
with a God she didn’t even believe in to let him live and to take her instead. The fear she felt at
that moment was indescribable; he had come back to her physically, but until he woke up and smiled
at her with the half-grin that she found so adorable he would never be completely back in her
eyes.

She was so afraid that she had lost him that night.

It was then that her feelings really took a hold over her. She let herself love him that night
as she held his hand tightly in a futile attempt to wake him.

That love she felt hadn’t decreased in the slightest degree since that night- if anything that
love had increased tenfold. If not more;

She was head-over-heels for her best friend. She had admitted it (to herself anyway) Even though
she wasn’t entirely ready to let him know how she felt at that moment, she knew that eventually she
*would* tell him and she wasn’t about to take those feelings away and hide them from herself
like she had been for years before.

She figured that he deserved to know exactly how she felt about him even though she was positive
that he would never feel the same. She thought that he should know that there would always be
*someone* out there that loved him more than life itself.

Someone that he could rely on in the darkest times of his life even though those times were now
passed with Voldemort defeated.

*She* loved him. In a far different way than she should.

**x-x-x**

Over 24 hours later and he still hadn’t woken from his comer. Hermione was starting to get
desperate.

Madame Pomfery had tried to pry her away from his bedside several times during the night
insisting that she needed to sleep, but of course Hermione was having none of it, and refused to be
moved from his side.

“I want to be here when he wakes up.” She said firmly

“He won’t wake for a few days Miss Granger. You can go and get some rest in your bed. Exhausting
yourself here won’t help him wake up any quicker dear.” Poppy answered softly.

“But what if he doesn’t wake up?” Hermione asked, emotion cracking her voice, “What if he’s like
this for the rest of his life? What if I don’t get to see his eyes sparkle again? Please Madame
Pomfery. Please let me stay. I need to believe he’ll get better.”

“He will wake child. I promise you that I will do everything I can to make sure he wakes for
you. I am rather fond of Mr. Potter myself; the amount of times he’s been in here for some reason
or another, you start to become attached to his charm.”

This made Hermione smile. *‘Yes,’* she thought *‘he has his charms.’*

“Now, why don’t you lay down here and get some sleep?” Madame Pomfery offered indicating to an
empty bed next to Harry. “If anything happens I’ll be sure to wake you. You need your rest
too.”

“OK.” Hermione gave in. “Thank you Madame Pomfery.”

“You’re quiet welcome. I know how much Harry here means to you.” She said with a slight wink
before she bustled off into her office leaving Hermione to sigh and nod in return before she did as
she was told and lay down in the bed and closed her eyes. She willed sleep to come while trying
desperately to keep all thoughts of loosing Harry as far away from her mind as she could- the last
thing she needed was to dream of never seeing his beautiful eyes again.

**x-x-x**

Hermione opened her eyes to see an abnormally bright Hospital Wing- obviously she had needed the
sleep as Madame Pomfery had said. A quick squint at her watch in the insanely bright light told her
that it was past noon. On a Monday!

Hermione sat up quickly in her bed and peeked over to where Harry was lying; still, it appeared,
just as comatose as he was when she fell asleep.

She sighed sadly as she got off her own bed and moved over to his side once again. Part of her,
alright every single part of her body had wished that he would have woken while she was sleeping.
So many happy thoughts and dreams had drifted around her mind during her slumber; Harry was awake,
happy, and back. Lop-sided grin and all.

But no, he was still lying there, worryingly still. Not even the slightest movement in his hand
as she held it tightly in her own.

“Come on Harry,” she begged “you have to wake up today. You can’t leave me here. Not after all
we’ve been through together. You can’t leave me to live the rest of my life without seeing those
gorgeous eyes again. Please. I need to tell you I love you.” She said, whispering the last sentence
so only they could hear it.

Just then his hand finally moved ever so slightly. So lightly that she had thought she’d
imagined it at first, but there it was again. He squeezed her hand!

He was coming round!

She was about to shout for Madame Pomfery when his eyes struggled open and focused on her
face.

“Hermione.” He rasped

She was overwhelmed, he was awake! Holding her hand tightly and gazing at her softly in a silent
plea to be kept from the intense prodding and poking that he would have to endure if she called
Madame Pomfery.

“Oh Harry” She cried as the tears began to trickle down her cheeks. “You’re awake! You’re back!
I was so scared I’d lost you.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He joked, the dryness in his voice causing Hermione to
fill him a cup of Pumpkin Juice and hand it to him after she helped him to sit.

“Thanks”

“You’re welcome” She whispered unable to keep her eyes off him as he drank quickly.

“How long have I been out?” He asked as though he was almost afraid of the answer.

“Almost 4 days.” She answered shakily. “I was so scared Harry, I really thought you weren’t
going to wake up. You were so quiet, so still. I thought you were dead when I first saw you. Ron
couldn’t stay in here. He was devastated Harry. He thought you were gone. He was convinced that you
wouldn’t wake up, but I knew you would. I had to believe you would.” She finished

“I’ll always come back to you Hermione.” He said sincerely. “I told you I would before I left.
You were the one thing that kept me going when I was fighting. I had to keep my promise to
you.”

Before Hermione could say anything in response to him Madame Pomfery came out of her office and
promptly dropped the tray of food she held in her hands when she saw Harry sitting up in his
bed.

“Mr. Potter! You’re awake! Why didn’t you alert me Miss. Granger?” She scolded as she rushed
over to the bed pulling her wand out in the process.

“I uh…-”

“I asked her not to.” Harry supplied, “I needed to talk to her first.”

With a very loud ‘tut’ Hermione was quickly pushed aside as Madame Pomfery began running every
test she could think of on him- long gone was the considerate and loving healer Hermione had spoken
to the night before.

x-x-x

News had gotten around the castle about Harry’s recovery quickly and a steady stream of visitors
came for Harry through out the next few days as he regained his strength.

Ron, now that he was no longer scared that he would have to watch another one of his family die
in his arms, came to the hospital wing whenever he could, bringing a different present every time.
Usually something along the lines Chocolate Frogs or Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.

Hermione, of course, never left Harry’s side and flat out refused to go to class when he told
her she could go if she wanted to.

“Hermione, I know you hate missing classes. You can go if you like. I feel much better now.” He
said one Tuesday morning.

“No Harry. I don’t care about classes. Not until you’re better anyway. Then I’ll be on you like
a tone of bricks if you start slacking on your homework.” She warned.

“Am I hearing correctly?” Harry teased “Did I just here Hermione Granger say she didn’t care
about classes? Surely not!”

“Shut up Harry.” She laughed slapping him lightly on the arm in a friendly manner.

“Seriously Hermione; if you want to go to class you can go- I’ll be fine I promise.”

“Harry Potter, I don’t care if you start dancing Madame Pomferys desk. I am not going to classes
until you can come with me, and that’s that.” She said firmly, indicating the end of the
conversation.

Harry had no choice but to give in and agree. He knew better than to start arguing with
Hermione. Especially when she was determined about something; she could be an immensely stubborn
person when she wanted to be.

x-x-x

Finally, almost a week later Harry was declared fit enough to return to classes and released
from the Hospital wing with very strict instructions to go straight back if he had even the
slightest headache.

That night the Gryffindor common room was a very rowdy and cheerful place to be; all of the
Gryffindors had decided to throw Harry a surprise ‘Welcome back!’ party, co-ordinated by Ron, Dean,
Seamus and, shockingly, Hermione.

The night was a huge success with many of the 4th years and above not leaving the
common room until the very early hours of the morning unable to walk a single step in a straight
line.

Perhaps the huge amount of Butterbeer and Fire whiskey wasn’t such a good idea after all.

At 4am the Ron decided that it was time to call it a night and retire to his dorm in a very
strange way, crawling to and up the stairs after he had fallen to the ground when he stood.

“Hmmm…” He giggled, sprawled on the floor in front of the sofa where Harry and Hermione were
sitting “I think this’ll do to get up there.”

With that he proceeded to crawl, stumble and giggle his way up the stairs leaving Harry and
Hermione alone in the now trashed common room.

“Thanks for this ‘ermione” Harry slurred dropping another empty bottle on the ground at his
feet.

“You’re welcome Harry. I’m glad you had a good time.” She smiled

“Oh yes. I had a wonderful time, and it’s all because of you.” He said seriously.

“Not just me Harry; Ron Dean and Seamus helped too.”

“I don’t mean the party. I mean everything. I wouldn’t have gotten through it if it wasn’t for
you; I was so close to just giving in that day Hermione. But I knew that I couldn’t. I knew that I
had to do it. I had to finish it for you. For you to live in a safe world. That’s what kept me
going. I knew that even if I didn’t make it- you would and you would live a long happy life. That
was all that mattered to me.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what he was saying. Did he mean what she
thought he meant? What she hoped he meant?

“You mean the world to me Hermione. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that before, and I should
have. I’m sorry. You mean everything to me, and I love you.”

“You’re drunk Harry. You don’t mean it.” She sighed sadly. Oh how she wished he was serious.

“Yes, I am drunk, but I do mean it. I’ve never meant anything more in my entire life. I’d go
back and fight him all over again if that’s what it would take for me to prove to you how I feel. I
love you and nothing will ever change that. I can tell you now. Now that the threat has gone. I’ve
loved you for years, but I could never let myself love you openly in case someone found out and
hurt you to get to me. I couldn’t do that to you Hermione- I couldn’t put you in any more danger
than you already were. As my best friend you were already a target, but if the Death Eaters or
Voldemort found out how I really felt about you then you would definitely have been an even bigger
target. But now, I don’t have to worry about that. All I have to worry about is making a complete
fool of myself and frightening you away with my confession. But I had to tell you how I feel
Hermione; I’ve been trying to ever since I came round. I love you. I always have and I always
will.”

Hermione could only respond to that in one way; she placed her hands on either side of his face
and pulled him close to her for a soft but deep kiss.

“I love you too Harry.” She whispered once she had pulled away. “I have for so long now. I never
expected you feel the same”

“How could I not? You’re so perfect. You’re beautiful both inside and out.”

She answered him with another kiss.

**X-X-X**

No, she wouldn’t change her Harry for anything in the world. He was her best friend, her
boyfriend and her soul mate. She loved him more than anything, and he loved her.

*‘It really is the most amazing feeling in the world.’* She thought smiling at him as he
continued to scribble away on his essay *‘When someone loves you, you really can do
anything.’*

**END!!!**

**A/N: OK folks… what do you think? One of the longest one-shots I’ve done... like I said I
don’t have a Beta, so sorry for any errors I’ve missed.**

**Thanks for reading. Please review. :D**

**~Just Breathing.**



